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babx
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Name: Babxlicious
Birthday: 9/10/1977
Gender: Female
Interests: anything that moves and communicates
Expertise: dancing like nobody's watching, singing like nobody's listening
Message: message me
Member Since:
1/7/2004
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| ‘… it is really important to love yourself because you can hate yourself so much that you can’t love and receive love...’ my yoga teacher said in one of these philosophy classes. It was like a sharp weapon cutting right through my heart because I know exactly how it feels. I still remember the time when I let stress eat myself up to the point that I hated myself, the people around me, and all things happened to me. It ruined my health, my work, and my love. Bad karma. And from that day, I realized how bad the situation was and I started to learn. The source of happiness is from within and that’s why I have to love myself. In that way, I can love and receive love. The learning process is hard because, day by day, when I look back I see my own flaws which turned things so sour. And the little pleasures I am trying to create in my own life reminds me that I could have done things better in the past. What makes things even worse is once the things were done and said, it’s no turning back. ‘say yes first, and refine later’ yoga teacher also said. There were times I kept saying NO and when I finally learnt to say YES, it’s probably too late. Perhaps life is just that ‘interesting’ - When I thought that I was gaining so much MOJO and was so ready to share that with the ones I love, it’s their turn of right to say NO. It hurts not only because I got rejected but also I realized I had hurt people in the past. I thought that 2008 was a bad year but 2009 has been, in fact, no better. Thank God I have learnt a lot from yoga and meditation and have been able to share it with my best friends. However, from time to time, I get really lost. The feeling is like a sick kid in the candy shop who was standing there with 20 bucks on hand but didn’t even want to touch the candies because she’s mentally so tired and physically so ill. While seeing all other kids running around so excited about picking their favorite candies, this sick kid just stood there, blankly watching, silently yearning, having so much doubt, and helplessly hoping this fever can just go away. | | |
| Was accidentally ‘shuffled’ by my little iPod and it suddenly brought me back to the Lollipops’ years this morning on my way back to the office… Looking out from the window, it was a beautiful day – a day I should spend on the beach. Instead, I was there, in a minibus, going to work. What I saw was cars on the move. People seemed so busy... And I couldn’t help but wonder - how much have I grown from these years. Things that happened was like an invisible force pushing me forward… Memories flushing back like a fountain. Friends come and go, and some other stay. The enormous amount of struggle, perhaps the most difficult thing to deal with in life is, however much I wanted to stay, I want to move on, too. How many times I wanted to scream, for the world to know that I am living. But the world is still spinning no matter where I go and how I feel. People move on, things move on…and I’m always in this ‘catch-up’ mode. ‘We make love… cuz’ angels make love. Others have sex.’ I once thought that we were special. Maybe we were and maybe we had never been… | | |
| I never liked Porsche in my life. Call me judgemental but I always found it too loud and really good for nothing because it’s a 2-seater…. until I was in one. Not a driver of cuz - I was discouraged by one of my ex-es that I wasn’t born a driver, so I have been a passenger for the rest of my life ever since. Hmmm…. But Porsche… it’s actually quite comfortable to seat in and I could see that it’s not that hard to manage.. And I actually saw the people on the street – those who desparately wanted to cross the road and all of a sudden, saw this black little monster passing by… they looked at me and the one beside me, with the eyes that spoke, probably not a thousand words, but you knew what they meant… haha… it’s just interesting. Hmmm… I can imagine one day that I’m driving it with my two little kitties and all of us can be quite comfortable I guess I want to learn driving… And I guess I don’t really like CLS that much… But I'm not sure about Bruce Wayne and his Lamborghini...  | | |
| Nothing is more torturing than watching the Wimbledon Women’s Final – the Williams’ play. Their ugly faces, the gawky moves, the animalic power, and more horrifying – the sick look of desparation- fighting for something that doesn't belong to them. Not pleased. Don’t they know that Wimbledon is supposed to be the most elegant Grand Slam of the year? They aren’t even qualified to use the hot pink towels - too pretty for them. And I looked at their mother – very sad, too. Seeing half of the world doesn’t approve her kids, she’d probably still feed them with a few bananas a day to keep them going. Speaking of which, Princess Diana should be glad that she died and didn’t need to watch them anymore. | | |
| 1. Ritalin 2. Anti depression 3. Numbing drugs 4. Short-term and long-term memory killer | | |
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